Twenty-Two: Taylor Swift v. Reality

Today I decided to splurge and actually get takeout. (We are paleo-dieters and now I feel icky. Don’t eat chinese takeout if you haven’t had anything fried in a while. Just don’t. It isn’t fun. But I digress…) In the thirty minute drive to get dinner, the same song came on the radio twice–Twenty-Two by Taylor Swift. And by the end of the second time I realized that her version of twenty-two is way different than mine. Granted, I am not a tall, skinny, blonde millionaire. That being said, I thought now would be a good time to compare the expectations and realities of being twenty-two.

Getting a Job

Expectation: Piece of cake.

Jobs all around!

Jobs all around!

Reality: Don’t ever plan on sleeping. You’re going to work three jobs at a time. (Legit, when I graduated from college I worked at a pharmacy in the morning, a daycare in the afternoon, and in a scary parking lot as a security guard at night.)

True story.

True story.

Domestic Duties

Expectation: It’ll be just like college, but more fun! No one cares if your laundry is in the floor and that empty bag of Doritos is shoved under the bed. Live it up!

Cleaning, schmeaning.

Cleaning, schmeaning.

Reality: You actually have to clean. Unless you want your mom to come by and stare at the dirty floor, you’ve got to clean. Everything. Even your pets.

So. Much. Cleaning.

So. Much. Cleaning.

Money

Expectation: I’m finally out of college and I’m going to make money!

I'm jealous.

I’m jealous.

Reality: Student loans.

(If you have the means to buy a pink fluffy dress and twirl around while it rains money, come be my friend.)

Pretty much every time I get a call from an 800 number.

Pretty much.

Productivity

Expectation: Finish everything before lunch on Saturday!

Finish all the work!

Finish all the work!

Reality: Maybe finish one item on your to-do list before next month starts. Maybe.

Maybe later.

Maybe later.

Fitness

Expectation: I’m going to get into a regular routine and get fit!

Work it, work it!

Work it, work it!

Reality: You couldn’t even touch your toes if an elephant sat on your back.

Give me a push!

Give me a push!

Eating Healthy

Expectation: Eat all the vegetables!

Broccoli!

Broccoli!

Reality: Junk food is cheap. And yummy.

'Nuff said.

‘Nuff said.

Pets

Expectations: Now that you’ve got your own space, you need a cute little ball of fun to liven the place up!

Aw, what a cutie!

Aw, what a cutie!

Reality:¬†One is never enough…you need all the fluffy things! And the cuter they are, they more destructive they are. But they are honestly one of the best things about being a grown-up. Still, say goodbye to your socks, hairbands, crown molding, lunch, coozies, shingles, landscaping timbers, and any garden that you ever dreamed of having. (Again, don’t let that discourage you. Pets are totally worth it and more addictive than Candy Crush. They’re like potato chips–you can’t have just one! I have tried to adopt at least fifteen animals so far this year.)

You just spent your entire paycheck on chew toys so Fido might stop chewing the wall. (It won't work.)

You just spent your entire paycheck on chew toys so Fido might stop chewing the wall. (It won’t work.)

Mornings

Expectations: All adults are morning people.

We love morning!

We love morning!

Reality: Mornings are 51,936,295,297 times harder. That’s just a rough estimate, mind you.

(Really, think about it. You can’t wear sweat pants and no-makeup to work as a grown up. And if that is your uniform, I am jealous.)

That's more like it.

That’s more like it.

All around, twenty-two wasn’t all that bad, it was just a time of a lot of changes. For example, when I was twenty two I:

Got in super good shape for the wedding.

Bought a house.

Got married.

Figured out what I wanted to do with my life. (Well, career wise anyway.)

More importantly, figured out what I didn’t want to do with my life.

Saw the mermaids at Ripley’s Aquarium.

Bought a car.

Started chipping away at my student loans.

Overall, it wasn’t a bad year. Definitely not a Taylor Swift year, but really, who has those anyway?

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